Vivid dreams but no detailed memories. Hate when that happens.

Hair Brained Idea: Radio

I've always thought it would be funny to orchestrate hundreds of people to call radio stations requesting songs they'd never play

Surveys reveal the obvious ?

.....currently editing this on my phone :-)

Dream # 05182011

I was in a car driving around with my friend K,  we seemed to be circling in a pattern, periodically checking this one alley between two apartments. I think we were waiting on some one. At the same time there was a multi level parking garage where apparently I’d agreed to meet some people. There seemed to be a lot going on logistically. For some reason there was repeating sequence where I’d take the elevator up to an office several floors up where the lights were off or really low apparently to conserve power. The other office occupants seemed to recognize me. Not sure why I was there but I walked over to this cubicle and did something on a computer (one of those older CPUs with green screens from the late 80’s) and then got back in the elevator to head downstairs. The people seemed to be acting uneasy about something but since I wasn’t sure it was me I just laid low and acted like nothing was amiss. The group I was meeting in the parking garage hadn’t shown up yet but sent a messenger who gave me a sort of schedule that mapped out the rest of my day and there were points on the schedule where I knew that I’d cross paths with “the group”. I then skipped forward to a factory-esque shipping dock. I was standing on the inside, looking out at a truck that had just driven off. I began remembering a upscale party in a loft but was still standing in the loading dock doorway thinking how things were some much more perfect then, it seemed like there is something that happened that changed the normalcy of the situation.

The odd thing is that I was editing this post and took a picture of a fellow commuter but he and the rest of the image came out a little blurry so I cropped out all the normal train looking parts of the picture and was left with the trailer in the background that I didn’t notice at the time. But it ties in nicely  

Loss of balance is Overrated

Sometimes we accept trade offs in this life, I envy anyone who lives a life without compromise. At almost every turn I feel like I'm bartering and trading my soul for what I want. I think this would make things difficult for those who exist and live in am environment they are not passionate about. Like how an artist might feel working in a military-esque situation.

I've recently embraced the idea that I'm an artist, not sure how I missed this one but for some reason I've just accepted the premise that I'm a guy with a lot of crazy ideas that would need to learn to blend in to survive. The word survive is a bit severe but, the blending in part has always been surprisingly simple. I instinctively seem to know what answers, words, or actions are required by my surroundings or situation. Lately it's been more difficult to keep my inner "how I really feel" voice in my head. In the past i was really good at having a strong opinion and feeling one way yet acting completely different. I think this is called schizophrenic. Don't even get me started on the voices and dreams, that's a whole different post for later. I've started to compartmentalize more.

I think I've always compartmentalized, but just never realized I was doing it. They say there are three "yous"

1. The you that is displayed to the world
2. The you that others see
3. The you that you really are.

Well for me I feel like there are about 6 or 7 and this may not be a good thing. A big clue came when I realized that if I were to invite all of my friends to a party, there would be a lot of awkward exchanges and possibly some heated discussions. What I'm getting at is that my friends would likely not be friends with each other for many reasons, most of them being "belief" oriented. I've also noticed more and more that my views are in the minority and in the course of discussions will need to "reign in" my true feelings for fear upsetting others with my views. I've contemplated what it would be like to exist as one. I imagine an existence where I would never have to "filter" what I say or how I behave. It's alarming the number of volatile situations this would inevitably create. It's also intoxicating to think of the resolutions. Sometimes i remind me of a balancing scale. I feel a little better thinking about it like mixing water colors until I get to the part where all colors hit the saturation point and become that dark brownish yet

completely...

balanced...

mess.

Actually no....don't

Try getting a hobby you are passionate about and then doing the opposite of that from 9am to 5pm

Dream # 04272011

I was in a reality show :-( WTF ?!?!? yeah, not sure how that happened but there were cameras 24/7 and drama, everything i hate about TV programs these days.

Dream #041711

I just remembered I had another Zombie apocalypse dream, there was a lot of breaking glass, an dead animals not may dead people unless you count the zombies. They were trying to come through the window, but for some reason couldn’t figure out how to get past the broken glass. There was a news report in the background saying something about being calm which I remember thinking was hilarious. I remember being made fun of for wanting to buy some machetes. They were two for one, and I’d always wanted one.      

Dream # 041211

I'm standing slightly off shore looking back at a beach, not like the ones I grew up with, one of those "flat" beaches with no surf so there are no surfers I'm wondering why beaches like this exist. I love waves, the crash, the way the water recedes. Can't tell if the sun is rising but assume it is because it's on my right and what looks like an American city is north of me. I start moving towards the shore and start falling out of the air so that my feet are dragging and skimming across the water. The water is not too cold but then I realize it's a hair too cold for my liking, and I love it cold. There is a high pitch noise in the distance, like static and I can smell dirt but not in a people way. I smell it freshly like how it refreshes an earthworm or soothes a pig. I never realized how wonderful being dirty could be, it has the subtle smell and taste of potential, like how you feel when you smell cookie dough. I notice I'm waist deep in sea water but still smell dirt and wake up feeling gritty. Normally I forget most of the details by the time I get to my dream log but today I got a head start waking up. Even in dreams it's hard to stay asleep once the sun comes up. "I hate when the sun comes up" I remember hearing a voice that isn't mine say. Damn I wish I could go back and resume where it left off.

I cant believe I just read a owners manual for fun.

Pest Control

I was at my friend SN's house, we were waiting to head out for some fun, while at his place I kept hearing a super high pitch static type noise. It was nearly impossible to tell what direction it was coming from but there seem to be a pattern of annoying noise 2 seconds of non-noise and noise again. I asked what it was but SN was unable to hear it and was giving me a look like I was totally whacked. As I wandered around the house determined to find the source, I located an off white box plugged into the wall outlet. The box had a blue light that blinked in perfect sync with the noise I was hearing. I asked what the device was for and he explained it was for repelling pests like Mice, ants, and spiders, and that humans should not be able to hear it. I guess this settles it.....I'm a pest

Interesting: we should all take note

http://caffertyfile.blogs.cnn.com/2011/03/15/why-is-there-no-looting-in-japan/?hpt=T1

Wishlist: Roland JD-800

For a while....since 1994 I've wanted one of these....But the price kept me away, they listed for $2800 USD and I'd never seen them for under $900.....there were a few timed in early 2000 when my various contacts would alert me when a JD 800 for sale would surface. I was actually in Chicago headed to s music store only to get there to find out that prince (minus the revolution) had sent one of his peeps to buy the one I was going to look at. Both manuals are a little over an inch and a half thick, but I've never really Bern a big fan of reading manuals. Shocking I know. So when I randomly located one of these on eBay for just under 400 And jumped into the bidding which seemed slow. But as soon as I hit refresh I discovered I was outbid, so I let it go and did what anyone suffering from consumer fetishism would do. I came back 45 seconds before the expire bid time and sniped it. So one of my wish list items is now checked off. This synthesizer was worth the wait. The main selling point with the JD 800 is that you can manipulate almost any sonic parameter with sliders and knobs rather than buttons and menus which seemed in vogue at the time. This thing is sonic bliss. Expect to hear a few ridiculously over the top sick sounds emitting from the newly overhauled and reconfigured Negative Nine Studios.  

Did you know that the world is actually ending on 05/21/2011.. I didn't either... http://www.wecanknow.com/

Dream #030811

Strange shattered glass, ships sinking, old house, shots with CJ, and elusive event.

Wishlist: Quasimidi Rave-O-Lution 309

I've always wanted a Quasimidi Rave-O-Lution 309, in fact i was at guitar center in the early 90's looking to buy one for around $1000. USD and the sales person introduced ME to the Roland MC-505 which i ended up buying in place of the 309 but always intended to eventually circle back and pick one up. the MC-505 served as my foundation for years of songwriting in many different styles and looks like this.

I can see the bar from here

I was invited to join my old band mates for a round of "Dance all Night" strange how the microphone looks like a ghost or UFO, but you learn to ignore crazy distracting crap like that.... and yes as cheesy as it sounds my inner asian tourist (tho i'm only part asian) could not resist taking a picture of the crowd. it felt fantastic to sing with friends while being surrounded in sound and have a stage under me feet again. i need to do more of this.

I imagined the whole thing...

A Very Long time ago in the 80's my aunt gave me a book for Christmas or my birthday, i don't remember which, i never did finish the book, not be cause it wasn't interesting..but because i had the attention span of a fruit fly. as time went on i lost track of many things, this wonderful book being one of them. a year or two ago i went looking for the book and could not find it. being the cheap skate that i am i headed to the library and found a pretty beat up version of a reprint of the same book. Oddly enough i still couldn't find time to finish it, so searched for it on eBay, bid and won. i finally finished the book recently and quite enjoyed it, i thought it would be a fun to tell my aunt thanks after all this time, only to discover she had zero memory of the book or it;s subject matter. if you know the material, it's not the kind of thing you would casually read and forget. i remember the conversation we had before i started reading the book in the 80's and remember how cool it was that an adult would be so open to such crazy ideas, but again she had no recollection of the book or anything approaching the subject matter....very puzzling.  

Random Thought

Sometimes I look around and see reflections of my self in things. It's sometimes less enjoyable than you would think.

Dre Vs. aiso/wdm buffer size

Sometimes I really hate technology. Why would any company stop it's customers from rolling back and installing old (and more stable) versions of their operating systems ? I have discovered that my MAudio sound card does not play well with windows vista. I've tried all the fixes an work arounds, nothing works. While recording at random times intermittent distortion will insert itself into my recordings. As such I've decided to uninstall vista and install XP, only to discover that either gateway or Microsoft has found some craptackular way of stopping this. That's right, even with a totally wiped seta drive XP will not install without blue screening. Apparently there is a way to partition your hard drive so that you can install multiple Operating systems so that you can boot up and select the OS of your choice. What. The. F#}k ?!?!?, so this seems to be my only choice for now. A friend let me use his windows 7 installer for testing, because after all this there is no guarantee that my MAudio card will play nice with windows 7. This is exactly the kind of situation that caused people to go and develop Linux.

I think I need a grand theft auto break....To be continued......