I discovered a ex-close friend of mine recently changed religious views, I actually felt Denial, Anger, Depression, and then acceptance. After pondering this for a long time I realized that I’d experienced the 4 of the 5 stages of grief about the incident. Maybe I’m experiencing the death of an idea or the death of what I thought someone was, but since we are on the life/death analogy I guess I should celebrate the birth of a “new” person? Perhaps the analogy doesn’t go that far. So to review lets revisit what the great wikipedia says:
- Denial — "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me." Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of possessions and individuals that will be left behind after death.
- Anger — "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?" Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy.
- Bargaining — "Just let me live to see my children graduate."; "I'll do anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if..." The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could just have more time..."
- Depression — "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die... What's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?" During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed.
- Acceptance — "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it. In this last stage, the individual begins to come to terms with her/his mortality or that of a loved one.
